Citrullus Lanatus--Summah-time Goodness and Cheap Viagra?

Citrullus Lanatus--It's 92% water, and 8% summer. Or maybe those percentages should be switched because it's so dag-gone summertime good.

At any rate, as I write this, I'm lifting chunks of dripping pink watermelon from a white bowl with a fruit-embossed border toward my mouth, which is not easy to do and type.

I feel as though Mark Twain is about to join me on the veranda. Or maybe Colonel Sanders might bring a bucket of chicken to go with the Cirtullus Lanatus on the veranda. Or maybe my ex-sister-in-law, who once ate an entire watermelon when she was pregnant, will re-appear with a wedge to share. Or not share, in her case.

Did you know that the Japanese figured out a way to grow cubes of watermelon? Sure, they're like $100 per melon, but at least they're less awkward in the fridge. And if you'd like to try to grow a cubed watermelon yourself, there are instructions on the world wide web about cultivating them in Lucite cubes.

I'm not sure if we should mess with near perfection, though. I have to say, however, that one of my quirky personality traits is that I prefer squares to circles or ovals, which is not common at all, since humans like softness and circles (like faces). But I only doodle cubes, squares, and the occasional daisy, which has a circle in the center and oval petals, true. But squares are where it's at for me. Except in the case of a $100 watermelon. Then I'll just stick with oval.

Where was I?

Oh yeah, and watermelon doesn't just taste good; it's like a giant vitamin wrapped in summer. Or "summah," as this melon is inspiring me to pronounce the season.

I mean, do you understand how good watermelon is for you? Sure, it's got a little bit of natural sugar in it, but check this out:

• 1 c. diced or chunks = 50 calories

• Virtually fat-free

• Very low sodium

• Cholesterol-free

• A good source of vitamin A

• High in vitamin C

• Contains higher amounts of lycopene than tomatoes! (Lycopene is good for the heart and helps prevent prostate cancer.)

And a little known fact is that consumption may lead to a natural Viagra effect. Yep. "Citrulline" is an amino acid that reacts with the body enzymes and improves the blood supply. And it has been shown to improve the blood supply you-know-where.

Great. You know what's next, don't you? Behold the inevitable er*ectile dys*function commercial: