American Idol, Shakespeare, and Can You Match the Slogans with the Products?

American Idol: First of all, can you believe the American Idol finale? When was the last time you saw so much talent in one place, besides the Lawrence Welk show or the Muncie community theater?!

Seriously. I felt my adrenaline surge during "We Are the Champions," and I felt my stomach go in a knot (in a bad way) just as I did as a kid when my older brother loved KISS. And although Rod Stewart looked a little unstable on his feet, he's still got it. Plus, he is still skinny, which is important when you're Rod Stewart. He is one person who can just never get away with anything else, you know? I mean, even Cher could get chubby before Rod.

I don't know why Cyndi Lauper sat like that. I knew you wanted me to address that issue. "Ladies" shouldn't sit that way. Especially middle aged menopausal ladies. Ick.

Steve Martin? How did he get this gig? I mean, he's an all right performer, but with those big names on the stage, how did he manage this?

Oh, I could go on, but this show is why we watch every season, and somehow, it just seems to get better and better.

Am I a better person for watching AI? No, I am not. I am, however, a highly entertained one, which is not as noble but at least I'm honest.

One last thing: Yay Kris.

Shakespeare:


You may not watch The Office, but I must tell you that if you have ever worked in an office, there was a scene that you would relate to: the filthy office microwave.

Such is is my life.

So the receptionist, Pam, made a sign and posted it on the top of the microwave about cleaning up after one's self after using the microwave. Her co-workers hated this sign.

Today, it was not the microwave, but a plastic bucket of fruit with a lid that had sat for several days in our sink until you couldn't tell the kiwi from the ewwwweee.

Now it's not often that my present life, secretary, collides with my past life, English major, but today, before I even had time to think about it, as I approached the dreaded bucket, Shakespeare said to my head, "Something wicked this way comes."






If ever a bucket deserved to have "Double, double toil and trouble; Fire burn, and cauldron bubble" chanted over it, it was this Rubbermaid bucket.

It sure looked like someone had cooked up a pot of poisoned entrails, eye of newt, and toe of frog.

So I did what any Pam-worthy secretary would do. I snuck it outside and pitched it.

Shhh. Don't tell anyone. Oh wait. My co-workers sometimes read this blog.

Match the Slogan with the Product:

In other work news, yesterday we had a giant meeting to discuss the relevancy and viability of our church's mission statement: "Know, Grow, Go."

Shakespeare would be proud.

So as we discussed the statement, a couple of us came up with alternative ones just in case we decided to 86 the current one, my favorite one being, "I Hope You Dance" which was so random that it completely cracked me up.

That got me to thinking about branding and mission statements, and I was wondering if we should just work with what has proven successful elsewhere, that is, famous advertising slogans. So I adapted some; see what you think. Try plugging your church's name in there and see if it doesn't make you giggle. And can you match the famous slogan with the product?

• Union Chapel: A little dab'll do ya. (Especially when you work there all week.)
  

• Union Chapel is the place for the helpful hardware man. (Things get broked.)
  

• A day without Union Chapel is like a day without sunshine. (Uh, this must not include my desk because sometimes, I don't emit sunshine.)
  

• Union Chapel: All you add is love. (And volunteers, and programs, and sick babies and smelly middle school boys. Now we're closer.)
  

• Union Chapel: the San Francisco treat. (Seriously doubt San Fran would consider our theology a treat.)
  

• Union Chapel, take me away. (Ohh, so you want to go on a missions trip!)
  

• Union Chapel: Celebrate the Moments of Your Life. (Kinda cute.)
  

• How do you spell relief? U-n-i-o-n C-h-a-p-e-l

• In the valley of the Jolly, "Ho, ho, ho," Union Chapel. (At least it's reminiscent of Psalm 23.)
  

• Be all that you can be: Union Chapel (Yes, please volunteer today.)
  

• If I've only one life, let me live it as a Union Chapel member! (Sounds like a religious Patrick Henry.)
  

• Just do it. Union Chapel. (I'm kind of liking this one. It's like "stop making excuses and get plugged in.")
  

• Union Chapel: It's the cheesiest. (That's a great one! Especially for youth ministry!)
  

• It's the real thing: Union Chapel!

• Like a good neighbor, Union Chapel is there. (Not half bad.)
  

• Union Chapel: It takes a licking and keeps on ticking.
  

• Look, Ma, no sinners! (Not hardly, but funny!)

So do you know which products these slogans were originally written for?