News-Breaking Post: You're So Vain, Carly

I'm just a little ... verklempt. For those of you who don't speak Yiddish like I do from my Pennsylvania Dutch background, that means, "choked with emotion."

People -- I know there's a lot of serious, gut-wrenching news going on lately. But amidst the tsunami in Hawaii and earthquake in Chile comes a news report that has former hippies everywhere tapping the "back" button on their DVRs to hear this once again:

CARLY SIMON FINALLY REVEALS THE SUBJECT OF "YOU'RE SO VAIN."

Yes, apparently, on a new recording she whispers the name "David" somewhere in the song. You can play it backwards; you can play it forwards, but either way, it sounds like Gollum spilling the beans to me. Listen and tell me what you think:

creepy soundbite

Then came the speculation about who "David" could be. In the last 24 hours, the consensus was that "David" is David Geffen, who was head of Carly's record label back in 1972. Apparently, if this theory is true, Carly was put out by Geffen's lack of attention toward her career compared to his enthusiastic promotion of Joni Mitchell's.

Can you say, "Anti-climactic?"

However, today we are learning why David could not have been THAT David. See this Gather news article for the details about the rebuttal.

In a nutshell, the fact that Geffen is a homosexual does not help the "Geffen is the David" campaign.

Can this story get any more riveting?

Only if I throw in MY two cents.

First of all, a few days ago, I was listening to the radio when YSV came on.

"My goodness," I said in my middle aged voice to no one, "That is the ultimate American pop song. It never ages. The theme is timeless: scorned lover strikes back. Her searing, clever lyrics are way better than keying a car for revenge. The music is great. I must buy this song immediately and put it on my Ipod machine next to all of my other ancient golden oldies."

Which I did.

Have you ever noticed that when you listen to a quality stereo or wear ear buds that you hear things you never heard through your 1972 black transistor radio with the vinyl cover that had 100 tiny holes in it?

For instance, I never knew that Carly whispers "Son of a gun" at the beginning of the song. Did you?

And I always thought the word that follows "You had one eye in the mirror as you watched yourself ..." was "go by," but it's "gavotte," which means "prancy little French dance." OUCH. Good one, Carly.

Finally, I never knew the harmony was by someone other than Carly. Google tells me it was Mick Jagger.

MICK JAGGER? Wasn't he one of the contenders for the subject of the song? Wouldn't singing back up disqualify him? But wait--Doesn't Mick GAVOTTE all over a stage when he performs? Yes he does! See exhibits A,B,C and D:










Oh, wait a minute. That last one is not Mick, is it.

Anyway, my head was spinning.

And then just a few days later, this David story breaks.

Do I have my finger on the pulse of useless pop news, or what?!

As I researched the articles to write this post (Hey, that's what professional bloggers do, and I'm a professional blogger, only I don't get paid) I realized the great irony of it all:

The longer Carly keeps us waiting with Anticipation for the revelation of the YSV protagonist, the more we talk about her. The more the song is about HER.

She keeps us in the dark because she knows we will keep talking about her for another 38 years! Is that not the HEIGHT of vanity??

Carly--are you so very vain?

If not, then just tell us, already!

PS: The very latest word on "David" is ... Bowie. Could be. He could certainly gavotte around, too.

Question: Without naming names (just like Carly) is there a "gavotter" in your past? One for whom this song could have been written?

As for me ... yes, there certainly was. He "gave away the things he loved, and one of them was me." And if he's reading this post, he probably thinks this post is about him. :)