I need more time.

I am bumming tonight. Why? Well, it seems that I have less than a week to try and hook up with Lark Voorhies before the world comes to an end. According to some believers the world will come to an end on May 21, 2011. Don't laugh, apparently there is some biblical interpretations to back this up. And, in typical A-merry-can fashion, the rapture folks are cashing in. (What's the point of cashing in if they won't be around to spend anything?)

I wish you people could have given a brother a little more time. Now what am I going to do with the rest of my "bucket list"? Five days is just not enough to do all the things that I want to do.

Hell it will take me that long just to get my mack on with Lady Lark. And why did it have to end on a beautiful Spring day? On a Saturday no less. That guy upstairs has a cruel sense of humor. Why didn't he end it all on a Monday? I bet a lot of us would have appreciated that a little more.

But I have to ask this question: I thought the big guy was going to come as a thief in the night. ( I am paraphrasing, one of you Christians might want to help me out.) When did he change his plans and decide to announce the big bang? I always liked the idea of no one knowing when Mother Earth went kaput. No long lines at the confessional booth, no massive sell- offs, no rush to the national parks. Just everyone going about their daily grind and........bam! It's over.

Still, I hope you rapture folks don't mind if I hedge my bets a little. I am not going to exactly take off tomorrow and head to Cali to find you know who. Nothing personal, and I don't want to be a sceptic like some folks, but you folks have been wrong before.