The Success Principles ~ Closure

For the past few months I have been working through and sharing my thoughts on Jack Canfield's Success Principles on Mondays. It has been a great process, one that's really helped me hone some of my beliefs (some in synch and some in contrast to Canfield's writing). This week is principle 42: just say no and I have decided that my no is to continuing to the completion of the principles. I'm making this decision for a few reasons.

I've received some beautiful and encouraging emails and comments from people saying that what they enjoyed most about these posts was my perspective. Thank you so much for that. You're inspiring me to grow and consider what I would like to write about and share. And also, there is so much interesting in the world - so much to read, experience, share, try, that I'd like to make space for more, especially since there's 64 principles and that would be 5 more months!

So, if you've enjoyed reading about the concepts, I encourage you to pick up the book. There's lots of interest in it. And I hope that I can share more books, thoughts and explorations. I feel like I'm going through an amazing growth spurt so know there will be so much to share.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 41

Wow, there are a lot of principles. #41 in Jack Canfield's Success Principles is build a powerful support team and delegate to them. One of the core concepts here is this, "...you can keep chipping away at the low-payoff, nonessential tasks on your list until you are doing less and less of those and more and more of what you are really good at."

And here are similar challenges as last week. Though I see the value of passing on jobs that aren't in my strength area and/or that can easily be done by someone else, I feel badly about getting someone else to do the "low-payoff" tasks and keeping all the juicy bits for myself.

So, how do I tweak this or frame it in a way that grows me and also keeps me in line with my values? First of all I can simply focus on the aspect of getting the right person to do the right job. Though doing taxes may be crazy-making for me, it likely isn't for someone who has chosen that for a career. (And if it is, maybe I can offer them some coaching!) I enjoy standing up and presenting in front of others. For some people, that's a fate worth than death! So it doesn't have to be about who gets the gravy and who gets the leavings. It can be about making sure we all play to our strengths.

The other part of this principle is building a good support team. One way that you can do that is through hiring. Another way is by building relationships with wonderful people, relationships where you can all help each other achieve success. I remember last year when I decided I wasn't going to network. I was just going to meet wonderful people. Since then I have so many new, generous, smart, creative, lovely people in my life. People who have become confidantes and advisors, clients and mentors.

Our success doesn't happen in a bubble. We are social beings and will from time to time need advice, encouragement, a new hairdresser, you name it. And we have all that to offer too. Being in a community that you can contribute to and that can support you is invaluable. I know that's why so many of us value deeply what we have found in the blogosphere.

How can you build your support team and have them help you with your dreams?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 40

Jack Canfield's 40th principle is redefine time. This is actually a very specific guideline on dividing your time into three kinds of days: Best Results Days, Preparation Days & Rest and Relaxation days.

On Best Results Day, you spend 80% of your time doing your work, what he calls your core genius. This the work that is based on your natural talents and passions.

A Preparation Day is just what it sounds like, a day spent preparing for your Best Results Day. If you are working at what I call a "day job" while developing your core genius work, I would consider that a Prep Day. It's work that's designed to finance your step into your real work.

Rest and Relaxation Days involve no work whatsoever and go from midnight to midnight. I admit it. My reaction was - whaaat?? No work whatsoever?? This is why on our honeymoon Justin said it was the first time he'd ever seen me relaxed (we'd been together 5 years). Away from home you can't just pop in and send one more email or return that phone call. It's luxurious.

I've been thinking about something recently that I realize is related to this principle - the clear division of time. Whether it's dividing time into 3 distinct kind of days or dividing a day into distinct areas of activity, I find that this clarity definitely eases the stress in my life. So, for example, if I am designing a workshop and then remember, oh, I have to send that email and then think, yeah, the meat's got to come out of the freezer and then toss the laundry in and then just check that detail online and... you get the picture, then I am frazzled. But if I have workshop time, home time, research time, I feel so much more at ease.

Now, for me, this can still mean short sections. I may actually need a break from designing a workshop and so go do the dishes. The key seems to be creating a sense of closure with each piece, truly putting it down so that my brain isn't juggling all the pieces while I'm working with each one. To accomplish this I consciously make note of something being finished. I'll take a moment to look at the clean counter and the dishes in the rack and think, "the dishes are done." And then go on to the next task.

Without this sense of closure it's like my energy is divided because there are tens of things I am currently doing. With this closure, I am truly only doing one thing at a time.

What helps you stay focused not frazzled?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 39

Jack Canfield's 39th Success Principle is stay focused on your core genius. He defines core genius as "some one thing that you love to do and do so well that you hardly feel like charging people for it. It's effortless for you and a whole lot of fun. And if you could make money doing it, you'd make it your lifetime's work."

Once you've found your core genius, Canfield suggests you stick to it, delegating other tasks, particularly grunt work. He acknowledges most people find this difficult for a variety of reasons - they worry they will be judged, they don't want to give up control or spend the money or they simply are in the habit of doing everything themselves. He points out that if you earn $75 an hour, instead of mowing your own lawn, it's far more efficient to hire a kid to do it for $10 and hour.

He also points out the more you do what you love to do, the better you will get at it. So if you get paid for writing, you are consistently being paid to hone your craft. My problem is that he frames this idea by suggesting we "become a con artist doing what you love to do." This concept rankles me so deeply that I could almost miss the valuable point in here.

You see, like most of my clients and friends, it has actually been hard to step up and be paid for the work that I'm best at precisely because it does make you feel like a con artist. How can I be being paid for something I find this easy and fun? Isn't work supposed to be hard? And so we slog at something that feels miserable and therefore respectable instead of thriving sharing what we actually excel at. So, for me, labelling doing your best work as becoming a "con artist" is powerfully detrimental and feeds the gremlin's fire.

So, instead let's think of it as being paid to share our gifts. And in honour of the gifts we've been given, we will continue to develop them. In fact, instead of goods and services traded for payment, why not consider such a transaction an exchange of gifts? I am sharing what I do best and my clients, in turn, are sharing a symbol of their work, hopefully work that represents what they do best.

My interpretation of this principle is to focus on my gifts by developing them and sharing them as the core of my work and my life.

How would you apply this principle?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 38

Principle 38 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is Fuel Your Success with Passion and Enthusiasm. He describes how passion comes from loving and enjoying what you are doing, from doing what you are meant to do, from following your joy.

Canfield suggests you start with asking yourself, "Am I doing what I love to do?" If the answer is no, how can you get more of what you love into your life? For me, this doesn't only mean work. One of the things I've learned from working with clients is that so many people stop playing music or writing or dancing because they believe they can't make a living at it. And there's a part of their soul that's dying without that expression. So when you ask yourself, "Am I doing what I love to do?" consider all the hours in your days not just the one's you're paid for.

And maybe this question actually needs to be preceded by another - do you know what you love to do? Grab a sheet of paper and write down 10 things you love to do. (I'll put mine at the end) They don't have to be practical. They don't have to be things you can build a career on. Or they might be. They might be even if you they don't look like it right now. For now, they just have to be things you love to do. It's so important that we learn our preferences, our own peculiarities, the special things that bring us joy in this world.

If you're still not sure, don't worry. The answers are within you somewhere. For a great variety of reasons, we often turn off our awareness around what we love to do. Maybe we think we can't have it and that hurts, so we try to stop wanting. Maybe we've been told we're not allowed to love what we love, that it's selfish or self-indulgent or some other such thing. Trust me, your own special loves and preferences are still alive inside of you. They may get small and quiet because we asked them too but they're just waiting for us to let them out to play.

So if that's the case with you, start paying attention to the moments in your life where you feel particularly alive, joyful and like yourself to find clues as to where passion lives for you. Notice what makes you smile, what catches your eye, where you feel at home. Carry around a little journal and take notes like "My favourite moment today was sipping my bold coffee from Starbucks." Leave yourself a voicemail that says, "When the sun came out today, I couldn't help but smile." Send yourself an email that says, "This may sound weird but I just loved shoveling my driveway today."

When you start to orient your life around those things that light you up, fill your well, make your sparkle, passion will be right there guiding the way. Canfield gives a couple of examples of how people found their way and part of it was tuning in and trusting the signals they received. One guy felt a tingling in his tummy. One thing that works for me is the giggle test. If an idea makes me erupt with giggles, I know it's something I should pursue. It always indicates something I'd find joyful but that pushes the edges a bit, something I find a bit surprising and intriguing, somethingI find that kind of funny, rebellious and exciting - and that's where my passion lives.

What kind of signals do you receive that say, "Hey, come this way." What helps you listen to them?

10 Things I Love to Do

1. Dancing
2. Taking classes
3. Going out for lunch with friends
4. Learning about wine
5. Making an event special
6. Dressing up
7. Playing with puppets
8. Making collages
9. Visiting museums and galleries
10. Reading self-development books

The Success Principles ~ Principle 37

Principle 37 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is stay motivated with the masters. In this chapter Canfield suggests that every day we tap into the wisdom of successful experts by listening to audio programs. He particularly advocates this as a useful way to spend your driving time, pointing out you could learn a language in the time it's taking you to commute.

I have to admit that re-reading this chapter I felt it was a bit of a pitch for products, but I do think there's a key message in here for all of us. Surrounding ourselves with positive messages and useful information is a key strategy for success. Immersing ourselves in our interests and becoming experts in our dreams and how to achieve them is a valuable way to spend our time. We may do that by listening to audio programs, reading books, subscribing to relevant magazines, watching films, documentaries, programming that inspires and motivates us.

I can share a coupl e of great resources for inspiration and motivation. Hay House Radio has lots of motivational programing that you can listen to online for free. You can find them at http://www.hayhouseradio.com/ And the Ted Talks really get you thinking. Check them out here: http://www.ted.com/talks

The key here is to surround ourselves with messages of inspiration and success. Where do you go for yours?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 36

Jack Canfield's 36th Success Principle is Learn More to Earn More. His recommendations for learning more are rather straightforward: read for an hour a day, turn television time into learning time, attend classes and training programs.

He makes a great case for cutting down or out your television viwing. By lessening your viewing by 1 hour a day, you gain the equivalent of 9 additional work weeks per year. What he recommends you do with that time is read, read books that are inspiring, books by experts in your field, biographies of admirable people. Fill your well every day with some knowledge. And to really absorb that knowledge, you have to be teachable. Canfield puts it this way, "You need to let go of already knowing it all and needing to be right and look good, and open yourself to being a learner."

This last part is a big one. All of the big learning I've done in the past several years has demanded of me that I let go of needing to be right or looking good. In Nia, my trainer explained that to become a great teacher, you have to be willing to suck. In my coaching training, I was taught that to be a great coach, you have to be willing to be fired. To be great, you've got to get started and that means walking on wobbly legs for a time. To be great, you've got to swing out and that means risking being wrong.

When you decide that you will step up and take the risk, a beautiful pattern of confidence begins. You take a risk and even though you looked silly, made a mistake, got fired, the world didn't end and you learned something. Maybe you were even right or got promoted or someone came up to you and said, 'I admire your bravery" because you gave it a shot. And so you build a little confidence and you try it again. And the same pattern emerges. Eventually you start to realize that being wrong, being wobbly and sometimes sucking is a part of learning. It doesn't mean you're stupid, inept or a loser. It means you're learning!

One of the keys to this approach is to focus what you're learning towards where you want to go. Canfield asks the question, "What do you need to do to get ready?" When you look at your dreams, what would it be useful for you to learn? Pattern drafting? How to write a query letter? French? Anatomy? What would make you prepared for your industry? Start learning it now.

What could you start learning this week that would bring you closer to your dreams?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 33

99% is a bitch; 100% is a breeze is Jack Canfield's thirty-third success principle. This is about making 100% commitment, a no-excuses policy. This releases you from the stress of debating every day with yourself or others whether you will or will not go to the gym, make a blog entry, spend time writing. When you break a commitment one time, it's easier to break it again. Canfield encourages us to make 100% commitment to those daily disciplines which will get us closer to our dreams.

Now, I understand the value of this principle. And Canfield makes a persuasive argument by talking about the consequences of even 1% lack of commitment - like what if your surgeon performed 99% of his surgeries with great care and let one slide? And 100% commitment definitely supports boundary-setting. For example, if your entire family knows, without question, that every day at 10:30 you write in your journal, they will get used to not bothering you at that time.

But my gut reaction to the principle is that I find it a bit too hard-ass. When Canfield speaks with praise about the man who wouldn't eat ice cream at a party his friends threw for him because he only eats ice cream on a full moon (his friends even created a full moon and invoked the moon goddess's permission), my reaction is that he's being rigid and ungracious.

I am all for sticking with your routines if they support you but I think there can also be something positive about going with the flow of life, trusting your inner rhythms, being open to change, possibility and unexpected ice cream.

What do you think?

The Success Principles ~ Principle #34

This week we're looking at Jack Canfield's success principle #34: Develop Four New Success Habits a Year. In this chapter Canfield talks about the power of habits and how they create our current results. To increase our level of success, chances are we're going to have to replace some of our current habits with more productive ones. It takes time to change habits in your life. Canfield suggests changing one habit a quarter, so 4 in a year.

Canfield recommends two steps in this process. First identify habits with a negative impact. Ask others to help you come up with a list of your limiting habits. Step Two is to replace a bad habit with a more productive one and create a system to support that change. For example, if you identify chronic lateness as a habit that holds you back and you decide you're going to be on time, how are you actually going to do that? Buy a watch? Leave earlier? Book things later in the day?

When I imagine what 4 habits I would like to change in the next year, I notice my resistance to the first step. It's easy for me to come up with a million habits I think would be good for me (eating less sugar, quiet time every day, regularly attending Nia class). But I see if you start with what gets in your way, the change targets an area where it can have great impact and you don't avoid the areas of greatest resistance. Okay. Here I go.

Step 1 Limiting Habits

1. Overbooking. Giving myself no recharge time.
2. Neglecting things that are actually important to me: my relationships, my home, my self.
3. Choosing unhealthy treats when I'm feeling discouraged, frustrated or bored.
4. Thinking about something forever before acting.

Wow, I suddenly realized what my life might look like if I could change even those 4 things. Let's imagine the flip habit.

Step 2 Limiting Habit Replacements

1. Leaving space in my calendar. Booking time for me. Focusing on one thing at a time.
2. Treating my relationships, home and my self with the care and attention we deserve.
3. Choosing healthful supportive acts to defeat discouragement, frustration and boredom.
4. Taking risks and trusting myself and the process.

That is way yummier. Way. Okay, I'm going to think about this one some more--

Oh, there's Habit 4! I'm also noticing that I want to take them all on, not work on one at a time (Habit 1). For now I'm going to print this list of 4 and put it in my daybook. As I set my weekly priorities, I'll look to my habit replacements. And I'm going to journal on what would support my new habit replacements.

I've got to admit this was challenging.

What habits would you like to transform?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 33

Principle 33 of Jack Canfield's Success Principles is transcend your limiting beliefs. As I work through and consider these principles, it is clear that there is a theme that underlies many of them: your thoughts affect your life. In this chapter Canfield posits that you can overcome any limiting belief and provides a 4-step process to support you in doing so.

Step 1

First, identify a limiting belief that you want to change. This one I find a bit challenging at times because I think the real limiting beliefs are the ones that you don't see, the ones that are a blindspot on your radar. Hmm... perhaps that's a limiting belief in itself. I'll choose that one as one I want to change. So, the belief I want to change is that the beliefs that most limit me are the ones I am not conscious off, making them impossible to change.

Step 2

The next step is to determine how these beliefs limit you. So for me, thinking that I can't identify my strongest limiting beliefs disempowers me greatly. It leaves me stuck and helpless against an invisible and thus unpenetrable wall.

Step 3

Then you decide how you want to be, act or feel. I want to believe that I can transcend my limiting beliefs even if I don't know what they are. (It surprises me that I didn't write down that I want to belive that I know and/or can know them all, but that's not what came out of my fingertips)

Step 4

The process ends with creating "a turanround statement that affirms or gives you permission to be, act or feel this new way." I guess I came up with mine already: I can transcend my limiting beliefs without knowing what they are.

Now, I don't know whether this statement is "true." And I don't know if it's going to in fact help me transcend my limiting beliefs. But I can tell you that whereas my previous take on the subject made me feel both hopeless and powerless, when I think of the new statement I feel like it's possible. And I bet that counts for something.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 32

This week's Success Principle a la Jack Canfield is Transform Your Inner Critic into Your Inner Coach. This principle also marks the halfway point through this book! This chapter deals primarily with negative self-talk. Canfield explains how this negativity can have a physical impact on our bodies. We can literally harm ourselves by living in worry and imagining bad outcomes. So how do we get past our favourite negative voices? (You know, "Who do you think you are?" "You're not good enough." "Everyone will laugh at you." "Stop being such a dreamer" etc. Pick your personal favourite)

To help change our thinking, Canfield refers to the work of psychiatrist Daniel G. Amen who calls our automatic negative thoughts ANTS. He says there are 3 steps to stomping those ants:

1. Become aware of them.
2. Shake them off and stomp on them by challenging them.
3. Replace them with positive and affirming thoughts.

Let's try this with my current favourite limiting thought: "Jamie, you're not ready."

Step 1. I have to admit, when I was looking for a limiting thought and realized that this was the most prevalent in my mind right now, there was already a sense of freedom and relief. Now that I know it's just a repetitive negative voice, I really don't have to listen to it.

Step 2. Is it true that I'm not ready? Not really. I am well-trained and practiced in the work that I do. I love my work and get consistently great feedback from my clients. And sure, there's always more to learn and room to grow, and I'm committed to that, but there is a heck of a lot that I can do right now.

Step 3. Where I am is great. Sure, as I learn and grow, I'll be able to offer even more, and that's awesome. But right now there is a lot I can do, so I'm going to step up and do it!

What would that process look like for you?

The Success Principles ~ Principle #31

This week's success principle is Embrace Change. This is a pretty short chapter, perhaps because the concept (if not the execution) of this principle is rather straightforward. Things change. Fighting with that reality simply ends up hurting us. Jack Canfield is pretty abrupt about it: "Grow or die."

Canfield points out that there are 2 kinds of change: cyclical and structural. We tend to accept cyclical change - like the flow of the weather, the trends in the market. Structural change means there's no going back. Things won't be like they used to be, whether we like that or not. And this is where resistance is more likely to show up.

It's funny because in some ways I'm a rather flexible person. (Okay, I can hear my family laughing already) What I mean by this is that I love a lot of things and so I can be happy with a many possible options in situations. But one of the most challenging things I've had to accept about myself is that yes, I'm a free spirit but I don't find it easy to go with the flow. (Maybe I actually have to revise "free spirit" to "stubbornly independent spirit") If I've planned what I'm going to do for the night and Justin says, "Btw, we've been invited out to dinner with so-and-so, want to go?" My immediate and instant reaction is "No." Even if what I was planning to do was laundry.

This surprises me about me. The only way it kind of makes sense is that I'm juggling so many things that any shift makes me feel unbalanced and I'm charging ahead with such vigor that change makes me screech to an adrenalin-filled emergency stop. As I'm writing this, I'm starting to see that maybe if I tuned down the intensity, I might be more open to change. And why is that useful? Because I might miss out on something fantastic along the way. I mean, dinner with friends sure trumps laundry.

Where do you resist change?

The Success Principles ~ Principle #30

I've had to take a bit of a break from these posts but hopefully as of today I'll be back on track!

Number 30 in Jack Canfield's Success Principles is face what isn't working. The message is very straightforward and made abundantly clear in the first sentence: "If you are going to become more successful, you have to get out of denial and face what isn't working in your life."

Canfield tells us to pay attention to "yellow alerts," warning signals in our life that something's not quite right. This always reminds me of something I read by Carl Jung. I'll be paraphrasing here. The universe taps you on the shoulder to send you a message. And taps you again. And again. And if you continue to ignore it, eventually it will kick you in the butt! It's definitely to your advantage to listen to the universe's nudges.

In this chapter Canfield talks about how we create reasons, excuses, platitudes and myths to support our denial and that we do this out of fear, fear that things will get even worse. As a coach, I listen for when people say, "That's just the way it is" because that always points to a stuck place, a place that's solidified to support a toleration, a place where there's currently not hope for change, a place where my client isn't believing in themself. When you can make a shift in this belief, big changes can start happening. Canfield says successful people recognize bad situations and then decide to do something about them.

Personally when I read this chapter today I think about the message that's showing up in my temporomandibular joint. Yep, messages can show up anywhere. I've been having quite bad pain in there. I'm on medication for it now that is helping but it was bad enough to keep me up in the night. In fact, I think that clenching may be responsible for my recent tooth issue. My body is definitely trying to tell me something.

I've always associated the clenched jaw and TMJ with stress and maybe anger. I would think that it might means words that are going unsaid. But the funny thing is I'm really feeling happy. I'm doing so many wonderful things and enjoying them thoroughly. Herein I notice a bit of a flaw in my thinking. I seem to think that if I'm having fun, enjoying myself, than that means I never need to take a break and that leads to my favourite addiction - adrenalin living.

So my jaw is reminding me to loosen up, to take drooling time, hang-out time and stare at the stars. Powering forward at 100 mph, even if its fun, can wear you out when you're not looking. So I am recommitting to turning my computer of at 10 and to journalling. This week I will take some chair and stare time and also some studio time. I've also booked a Thai Yoga massage and am exploring the world of craniosacral work.

What's not working for you and how are you going to shift it?

The Success Principles ~ Principle 29

This week's success principle is clearly an extension of last week's clean up your messes and your incomplete's. Principle 29 is complete the past to embrace the future. According to Canfield, when we hold onto our past resentments, angers and hurts, it ties us to the past in a way that drags us down. He recommends a process of expressing ourselves in writing or verbally with permission to the person we have outstanding issues with. The goal is not to change the other person but rather to allow you to get free of unexpressed emotions. He encourages us to express those feelings and then forgive the people involved.

I agree that carrying around resentments and anger and hurt is a heavy, heavy load. And I have learned from experience that to resolve my feelings, especially old ones, I don't always have to go to the person involved. I do need to express them and I do think it is valuable to have one other person in the world hear my pain, be it my husband, my sisters, my mom or my coach.

I've also learned that there is a real physical impact to holding on to those feelings and there can be real healing in finding ways for those trapped emotions and reactions to find their way out of your body. Sometimes crying at the plight of a character in a movie can be away of releasing uncried tears for yourself. Sometimes sweating can release anger and pain. I know that I had a lot of uncried tears for not becoming a dancer. And when I found Nia, I cried in every class for a year. I had a year's worth of tears being stored in my body. And now when I get a Thai yoga massage, I can feel in my body where I hold onto fear and resistance and by letting them go physically, I can spend my days with more ease.

Releasing these pent-up feelings is so important, and once you realize that so is keeping yourself as free from this load as possible. You can do that by being honest with yourself and others about your emotions and your reactions. I learned this lesson early on with my husband when we were dating. We hadn't been dating that long and one night I became a little insecure and jealous (Now, I have to say that Justin is a dream in this area, always behaving in a way that makes me feel special and supported and never giving me reason to feel jealous - this was totally my own stuff). I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to admit my insecurities. I knew it was my own stuff, so I thought I'd deal with it on my own.

Justin would have nothing of it. He could see I was upset and insisted that I share with him what it was about, saying that feelings like that work like poison and just spread, potentially creating serious difficulties in a relationship. I trusted him and told him what was going on. I was scared and embarrassed, worried that my insecurities would blow my cool, confident woman image. The beautiful thing was that yes, I felt loved and supported and that's thanks to Justin. But what was between me and me (which is the only thing I have control over) is that I felt free and honest. I was being me. The truth of how I felt was on the table and I wasn't hiding anymore. Sometimes being wild and free means being vulnerable.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 28

I continue to be amazed at synchronicity. The Universe is really taking a hand in my life right now. I decided my focus this week would be tying up loose ends and clearing my plate of things that aren't serving me. Guess what Principle 28 is? Clean up your messes and your incompletes! Canfield argues that if you "don't complete the past, you're not free to fully embrace the present."

He explains that we only have so many "units of attention" and that all of those outstanding "things to do" are using up valuable units. He recommends doing a brain dump of all the activities you can think of that require completion and determining a strategy for each of them, then getting started. He also points out how things like clutter and irritants take up units of attention and that by removing them from your life you will be freed up energetically. And he also insightully shares that incompletes often represent an area in our lives where we are unclear. So true!

I recognize that underneath my renewed motivation to "complete" is a greater sense of clarity - about my self, my work and my priorities. As I recently felt the strain of an ever-filling self-imposed schedule, I started to get very conscious of just how much time I actually have. First I had that regular feeling of overwhelm and fear, like somehow I wasn't going to be able to find all the energy to do all the things I had committed to. Then I looked closer.

One of the things I had booked in was studio time for the Expressive Arts program I'm starting in a couple of weeks. Spending some time painting, exploring music, writing, choreographing or rehearsing - bring it on! No strain there. That registers as more energy to me, not less. And I booked in time for teaching Nia, which I am loving. And time for my husband, whom I adore. And there was a lot of delicious stuff, so I started thinking okay, what can I get rid of? And I began getting really rigorous. In my heart, I knew that I simply didn't want to spend time on anything that wasn't serving me or supporting me or that I wasn't wild about. There are so many wonderful people and gorgeous possibilities and amazing things to experience, I want to spend my time on those things.

And then the universe took over and helped make my decisions really clear. One of my Nia classes was garnering lots of interest and one, none at all. So I'm going where the energy is, committing to the one class and cancelling the other. I signed off on all the details today. And I had signed up for a practice-building program that I was finding really wasn't for me - bam, I took that off my plate. No agonizing. Simply cutting. And you know that I've been working on renovating my wardrobe for what seems like ages, right? I've made major progress on that (More about that later).

Once I got clear, decisions were easier. Once I got clear, the Universe helped me out. Now, I didn't have to be clear on every little detail. All I had to be clear on was "I want to spend my precious time on activities, things and people that support and inspire me, that I love deeply and that are magnificent."

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver

The Success Principles ~ Principle 27

Jack Canfield's Principle 27 is keep your eye on the prize. In order to do this Canfield suggests an end-of-day ritual of acknowleding your successes, reviewing your goals, focussing on your successful future and making plans for what you want to accomplish the next day. He recommends doing this at the end of day because apparently as we transition into alpha brain wave state we are highly suggestible, so this is a good time to reinforce what we want to be imprinted on our consciousness. He also provides a format for journalling that will enhance this process.

Journalling at the end of the day in a way that acknowledges my successes and inspires me to continue forward is one of the core practices that supports me. That's not to say that I always do it (*cough* *cough*) but it is something I see as a valuable practice worth coming back to again and again. For a long time my daily entries have included acknowledging 5 accomplishments, saying 5 thank yous and making 5 wishes. I often will also "light a candle" in my journal for someone who I know could use a little extra support. I'll draw the candle and then write their name beside it. These practices began when I began my spell/wish/magic journal project.

That practice shifted my view of what a journal can be. Yes, journals can capture our memories and be repositories of our pasts. And I also see that journals are magical places that can be powerful tools for creating our future. Journals can help us get clear on who we are and what we want. They can be full of powerful words and images that keep us connected to ourselves and our dreams. When I flip through my current journal I am immediately connected to what my current dreams are. Through the images and words that I choose to put in there, my worldview is reflected back at me and becomes clearer. On an almost daily basis I flip through it and am directly plugged in to what is important to me, what I am yearning for and who I am.

What supports you in keeping your eye on the prize?

PS Thank you to everyone for your supportive wishes about my tooth. I've got a temporary filling in right now and will be having it replaced with a permanent one next week. With my anxiety about the dental office, this was a real challenge, but I've made it through this for and your support really helps. Thanks so much.

100 Successes

100 Things I'm Proud to Have Accomplished in My Life So Far

an exercise for Success Principle 26

1. I saved my allowance and then went to the store all by myself and bought treats and Barbie clothes when I was in grade 2.
2. I learned how to ride a bike, thanks to the boy next door.
3. I choreographed and performed dances for my class when I was in grade 4.
4. I sang in the choir throughout public school.
5. I was a bunny in our school's performance of Snow White.
6. I started my own neighbourhood library when I was in public school.
7. I was the lead in the school play when I was in grade 6.
8. I used to challenge myself to get lost on my bicycle in the neighbourhood and then find my way home.
9. I started my own business washing doll clothes when I was in public school.
10. I was a cheerleader in junior high.
11. I organized all sorts of outings and events for friends when I was in junior high.
12. I asked a boy to dance in junior high. (He said yes, but was really uncomfortable)
13. I made the adjustment of moving from Montreal to Toronto in grade 7.
14. I made the first move with a boy I liked in junior high. (He said yes, and we dated for quite a while. I still think of him really fondly. He was great.)
15. I skipped a year of math in junior high.
16. I was great with kids when I was a teenager.
17. I became assistant to my dance teacher while I was in high school.
18. I learned to tap dance.
19. I taught jazz and tap.
20. I was a soloist in our studio's dance recitals.
21. I got my first real job at Canada's Wonderland working on a ride.
22. I worked for 2 years as an usher at the dolphin show at Canada's Wonderland.
23. I got a job dancing as Papa Smurf at Canada's Wonderland.
24. I looked out for my siblings when my family was having a really hard time.
25. I went to my brother's parent-teacher interview.
26. I was an Ontario Scholar.
27. I was the president of my school's Student Organization for the Promotion of School Spirit (SOPSS)
28. I was the president of our school's sorority.
29. I learned to drive.
30. I was very serious about weight training, going to the gym 4 days a week and pumping iron.
31. I was one of the drivers on a family trip to Montreal.
32. I did a chin up.
33. I was accepted into and completed the University College Drama Program at the University of Toronto.
34. I have been a good nurse to loved ones that required physical care.
35. I graduated with distinction, earning my BA, a combined specialist in English and Drama with a minor in Anthropology.
36. I gained my MA in Drama.
37. I auditioned for shows.
38. I have told stories to a rapt audience.
39. I called a director to ask for feedback on my audition when I did not get the part.
40. Along with a partner, I was the artistic director of FOOT, The Festival of Original Theatre, that featured art, theatre, workshops, panel discussions and academic papers.
41. I was the president of the student union for my graduate department.
42. I was the editor of the departmental newsletter, taking it from a 1-sheet handout to a talked about publication.
43. I maintained my integrity in viscious conflict.
44. I brought home a second cat when I didn't know how I was possibly going to afford her but I loved her. She's still with us today.
45. I had the courage to say yes when someone asked me if I would direct their show.
46. Along with a partner, I was the artistic director of an independent theatre company.
47. Our theatre company ran in the black.
48. I have directed shows I'm very proud of including Mozart & Salieri, Understanding Media and Blue.
49. I've acted in shows I'm very proud of including Looking at the Stars and Masse Mensch (Man and the Masses)
50. I directed and choreographed a fashion show of costumes.
51. I've called a show from the booth.
52. I was a club chick.
53. I left a long-term relationship that wasn't good for me.
54. I sang on stage.
55. Along with my sister Shannon, I catered an event.
56. I volunteered for the Distress Centre.
57. I was a manager that really pulled together a great team that worked hard and liked each other.
58. I have worked supporting deaf and hard of hearing students in the classroom.
59. I gave dedicated and consistent effort to finding a career that was deeply fulfilling, drew on my talents and allowed me to pursue my creative dreams.
60. I left my doctoral studies when it became clear that was not the route for me.
61. I traveled by myself to visit my sister Suzie in BC.
62. I completed a core curriculum of coaching training.
63. I learned how to closed caption.
64. I organized a group of people to participate in the AIDS walk.
65. My husband and I designed a beautiful winter wedding that was successful in large part due to the lovely family and friends we have in our lives.
66. I began my own coaching practice.
67. I presented a coaching workshop.
68. I walked to raise money for the Assaulted Women's Help Line.
69. I provided coaching for a management team.
70. I have turned my health around from exhausted depletion.
71. I attained my coaching certification.
72. I was able to pay for my coaching certification by funds earned through coaching.
73. I have truly supported people in changing their lives and finding their joy.
74. I took a course in drawing and painting. I kept with it even when it was frustrating.
75. I have invested in myself.
76. Along with my husband, I bought a house.
77. I attained my Nia white belt.
78. I have cried out my dance tears.
79. I wrote and illustrated a story called My Life with Stella.
80. I began Starshyne Productions.
81. I went whale-watching even though I have an extreme phobia of deep water.
82. I hosted the first ever Try Day on Create a Connection.
83. I attained my Nia blue belt.
84. I have asked for help.
85. I began teaching Nia.
86. I have spent time doing art activities.
87. I have followed my heart even when it's scary.
88. I have turned my garden around from a patch of mud to a pretty space.
89. I have spoken my truth in a challenging relationship.
90. I have been accepted into a foundational year program in Expressive Arts Therapy
91. I developed a new identity for my business.
92. I have voted in all elections that I have been eligible to.
93. I researched and hired a logo design company.
94. I have embraced my performative nature.
95. I have met lots of new and wonderful people and expanded my community greatly.
96. I have learned CPR.
97. I have loved and continue to love deeply and fiercely.
98. I have a strong relationship with my spirit.
99. I successfully manage our finances.
100. I will be offering a workshop at justBe... Connected.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 26

Following up on Principle 25

Before I get into this week's principle, I want to say something about last week's post on Principle 25, drop out of the "ain't it awful club" and surround yourself with successful people. Clearly this one is a challenging principle for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that we are sensitive, loving people who don't want to hurt others. For me, the principle is not about being insensitive to the struggles of others. Sometimes people are having a hard time and need our love and support. And sometimes people are invested in things being hard, awful and unchangeable. And they want you to agree and stay put, complaining with them so that they don't have to change. Principle 25 is about disengaging from negativity that drags you down when where you want to move is up, up, up. It's about expecting better for yourself and others, for believing in hope and change. When someone is negative, especially to the point of being hurtful to you, and you maintain the relationship, what are the messages you're sending to them and to yourself?

You deserve to be supported, loved, encouraged and believed in. There are people out there who will be that kind of friend (as so many of us have discovered through blogging), partner, loved one And yes, it can be hard to say goodbye to negative people, especially when they're family, but you are allowed to protect yourself. You are allowed to ask to be treated respectfully, to say, "It really hurts my feelings when..." instead of just suffering in silence, or "I would appreciate it if..."

May you all be surrounded by loving, wonderful, gracious people who support you in pursuing your dreams and being yourself. May all the naysayers disappear quietly, gently and easily from your environment, leaving you free to breathe and grow. May they find their way to a joyful life with negativity dissipating from their hearts.

Principle 26

Success Principle #26 is acknowledge your postive past. Wow, I can so get behind this principle. Jack Canfield points out that we generally have more experience hearing about our failures than our successes and that leads to a more intense emotional experience around the negative, which in turn means we tend to underestimate our successes. And the impact of not acknowledging our successes is that we lose out in our self-esteem. Acknowledging your success brings confidence. And you're going to need confidence as you move forward towards your dreams.

So now's the time to start acknowledging the things you've done. His first recommendation is to divide your life into 3 even time periods and to come up with 3 successes for each period. After that, if you want to really get to it, create a list of 100 of your life successes. I really hope that you'll take on this exercise and share with us all what you've achieved. I'll work on mine and share it in the next couple of days.

Once you've done that, it's a great idea to keep what Canfield calls a Victory Log, writing down your successes as you go. I do this in my journal. Every day I acknowledge what I've accomplished or am proud of that day. You can turn this into a great creative project, making a scrapbook, a photo collage, an ever-developing poem of all the things you have accomplished.

There's lots of different ways to celebrate your achievements, the important part is that you take the time to see, feel and acknowledge that you are creating successes every day! When you know that in your heart, it will be easier to make more.

Note: Today's picture is of my wonderful sister Suzie as a girl. It just took me back to that time when we felt it was okay to see ourselves as superheroe's ready to take on the world, willing to throw our arms up in the air and celebrate our strength and success, to say YAY! Look at me! Thank you, Suzie, for the beautiful reminder.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 25

The 25th success principle is drop out of the "ain't it awful club" and surround yourself with successful people. At the core of this principle is the belief that you become like the people you spend the most time with. That belief leads to a 2-prong strategy: eliminate the negative and expand the positive.

First, the negative. Okay, I've been here, and I bet you've been here. You're in a tough situation, maybe work sucks, and you spend a lot of time with your friends, colleagues, family going over every bad decision your boss has made, every inhuman strategy the company has developed, the curt attitude of a client, the thoughtless comment of a colleague, the callous behaviour of a friend. Now, I think we all need to let off some steam sometimes. But when it becomes a regular behaviour, it can become a little self-justification party, reinforcing all the reasons why it sucks, why you're not responsible for the fact that it sucks, and btw, it's never going to change. How depressing!

Jack Canfield recommends that we create a list of all the people that we hang out with the most and ask ourselves are they a positive or negative influence in our lives? If the latter, it's time to stop hanging out with them. Create some boundaries and simply don't spend time with people who bring you down. And you know, as you start to change, grow and find your joy, there will be lots of opportunity to practice this principle. Perhaps you've experienced this already. You start to make changes and your regular cohorts start undermining your success, criticizing your choices, sympathetically urging you not to get hurt by going out on a limb, inviting you to have just one more donut, beer, cigarette. People who don't want to change will encourage you to stay the same. When you change your life, you let them know it's possible. And some people don't want to know. Don't let that stop you.

Instead, spend more time with the people you find uplifting, inspiring and fun. Look for people that you admire and who are successful in the way you want to be and ask them how they've done it. Learn from them. Canfield even recommends trying on some of their behaviours - read what they're reading, try doing what they're doing. If it doesn't work for you, let it go and try something new. It is possible to change. Yes, it takes energy, strength and often a whole whack of courage but becoming who you are meant to be is worth it and you can do it. I know you can.

Note: Both pictures are of the same cat. This sphynx was a competitor in the CNE cat show yesterday. When in the cage, she complained like crazy, bit the bars, stuck her head out between them. When the judge allowed the owner to hold her in his arms instead, she immediately turned into this gentle and content creature. Amazing.

The Success Principles ~ Principle #24

Jack Canfield's 24th success principle is exceed expectations. He provides examples of how going the extra mile can pay great dividends in lives and careers . His question for us is, "What could you accomplish if you were willing to go the extra mile, put in just a little extra effort, provide just a little more service? Are there circumstances in your life right now where you could do more, provide better value, overdeliver or improve on what is asked of you?"

Right now this principle is showing up for me as a reminder to practice extreme self-care. I know that may sound like the opposite, but it really isn't. In order to go above and beyond, be generous with my time and my self and to do so in a joyful way, it helps to be drawing on a well-nutured me rather than digging into energy reserves. For me this means being well-rested, healthy, full of vitality, creativity and confidence. When I'm nutured like that, I am excited to share, to go above and beyond.

What would support you in exceeding expectations?