Thinking about... feedback & fitting in

Recently I asked people why it's so important to us that people like our artwork. In my own life, I'm noticing how that's also true for me about anything that I've really put my heart into. When I offer a workshop, I'm hoping with all my heart that people are going to love it, that they'll feel inspired and hopeful and glad they took part.

There's something wonderful about this. It inspires me to offer my best work and to learn and grow all the time. It comes from a place of deep commitment to the participants and a sincere desire to make a difference in their lives. It makes me see that creating a workshop or a newsletter or a meal or an event is a creative act, and it can be one that you pour your soul into during its creation.

And what happens if despite all that, people don't like it?

Here's what I've learned about how I process that particular situation:

1. Let yourself feel what you feel. If I'm hurt, disappointed, angry, defiant or whatever else, I get to experience that like a storm until it settles. I don't have to pretend it's not there, judge it, rise above it. I just get to feel what I feel.


2. Look for learning. Once the storm starts to quiet, I see if there's anything I'd like to respond to. I'm not adjusting the work to this particular person. If I move away from the core of my vision to accommodate someone else, it will start to feel wobbly and I will start to feel more insecure. I'm moving in the wrong direction. But if I use the information to see if I can bring my creation closer to what I dream of for it, then I can use that and improve the work. The difference is palpable.


3. Let go of what's not useful. If someone just didn't like what I've created or offered or shared, but it's something that I believe in or love or is true to me, I remind myself that not everyone is going to love what I do, and that's fine. What I've learned from the information is that my gift is not for this person. I can let the rest go.


4. Trust. I remind myself that my people are out there, people who will appreciate my unique gifts and offerings. One of the truly important things about blogging is it allows us to extend our reach in finding our people, so that when we share what is uniquely and authentically our gift, we have more of an around-the-world opportunity for someone to read it and get it.

Molly Gordon talks about how in business we have a niche and we have an offer. I think this is true in life too. Our offer is what we sincerely, authentically bring to this world. It's who we are and what we share. And our niche is that place, that ecosystem according to Molly, in which that offer is easily and recognizably of value. There's nothing to be taken personally about being a rainforest plant who doesn't fit into the desert. Just keep looking for home and reaching out to your people.

How do you manage it when someone doesn't like what you do?