Life is Wild

My life was like a wild, beating thing, exotic, capable of unfolding and enlarging itself, pulling itself higher and higher up like a kite loved by the wind . Elizabeth Berg, The Pull of the Moon

I read this quote on Laini's blog the other day and it changed my life. I know that sounds super-dramatic, but it was, and it did.

As I wrote recently, my self-created, full-to-the-brim schedule was starting to make me worried, causing a bit of a mini freak out. My schedule makes me nervous when I'm not sure I'll have the energy to back it up or when I feel there's no wiggle room. I need to wiggle.

My mom studied the Kabbalah, and she once told me that my lesson in this life for a Sagittarian is to learn how to commit. Tough one! I think I do that through scheduling. When I put something luscious and wonderful on my list, I am making a commitment, and it feels good - mostly.

You see, at heart I'm a free-spirited person. Freedom is my top value. If I don't feel free, I don't feel alive. It's a non-negotiable for my spirit. And this is where that quote opened my mind.

When I read, "My life is like a wild, beating thing," I realized something: LIFE IS WILD. Everything else is an illusion. Life will flow and buck and surprise you. Life will pull and push and want what it wants. We sometimes numb ourselves to its voice or try to control it or create schedules and lists but no matter what we do, no matter how we relate to it, the underlying truth is life is wild. We are free. And knowing that, I can look at my schedule and breathe.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 28

I continue to be amazed at synchronicity. The Universe is really taking a hand in my life right now. I decided my focus this week would be tying up loose ends and clearing my plate of things that aren't serving me. Guess what Principle 28 is? Clean up your messes and your incompletes! Canfield argues that if you "don't complete the past, you're not free to fully embrace the present."

He explains that we only have so many "units of attention" and that all of those outstanding "things to do" are using up valuable units. He recommends doing a brain dump of all the activities you can think of that require completion and determining a strategy for each of them, then getting started. He also points out how things like clutter and irritants take up units of attention and that by removing them from your life you will be freed up energetically. And he also insightully shares that incompletes often represent an area in our lives where we are unclear. So true!

I recognize that underneath my renewed motivation to "complete" is a greater sense of clarity - about my self, my work and my priorities. As I recently felt the strain of an ever-filling self-imposed schedule, I started to get very conscious of just how much time I actually have. First I had that regular feeling of overwhelm and fear, like somehow I wasn't going to be able to find all the energy to do all the things I had committed to. Then I looked closer.

One of the things I had booked in was studio time for the Expressive Arts program I'm starting in a couple of weeks. Spending some time painting, exploring music, writing, choreographing or rehearsing - bring it on! No strain there. That registers as more energy to me, not less. And I booked in time for teaching Nia, which I am loving. And time for my husband, whom I adore. And there was a lot of delicious stuff, so I started thinking okay, what can I get rid of? And I began getting really rigorous. In my heart, I knew that I simply didn't want to spend time on anything that wasn't serving me or supporting me or that I wasn't wild about. There are so many wonderful people and gorgeous possibilities and amazing things to experience, I want to spend my time on those things.

And then the universe took over and helped make my decisions really clear. One of my Nia classes was garnering lots of interest and one, none at all. So I'm going where the energy is, committing to the one class and cancelling the other. I signed off on all the details today. And I had signed up for a practice-building program that I was finding really wasn't for me - bam, I took that off my plate. No agonizing. Simply cutting. And you know that I've been working on renovating my wardrobe for what seems like ages, right? I've made major progress on that (More about that later).

Once I got clear, decisions were easier. Once I got clear, the Universe helped me out. Now, I didn't have to be clear on every little detail. All I had to be clear on was "I want to spend my precious time on activities, things and people that support and inspire me, that I love deeply and that are magnificent."

Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?

Mary Oliver

The View from Here

For the past while I haven't been blogging as much. I've sometimes wondered why, and sometimes been so caught up in what I was doing that it seemed obvious; I'm busy. And yes, busy-ness has been a piece but so has it been about the shift in focus of my life, or what I perceived to be a shift.

When I started writing this blog, it was as a structure to support my creative process. To remind me to explore my creative expression, to share it and to connect with other people who are doing the same. And lately, as I've been developing my business, I haven't spent much time painting, drawing, photographing, and so I haven't been here.

And then it hit me. Developing a business is a creative act. Building an authentic life you're wild about is a creative act. So here I am. I've decided to show up and share with you what I've been creating in my life and in my work. It may not be a painting, but I'm hoping its beautiful.

Looking forward to sharing again.

Jamie

Inspiration

I started a book yesterday and I have to tell you it's the right book at the right time. It's called Stretching Lessons by Sue Bender. So far I'd say it's about learning to be as big and wonderful as you can be while being easy on yourself to get there - yum. In reading this there have already been lots of moments where I stopped, took a breath and thought, "yes." Here's one of them:

I smiled, describing my goose bumps theory of intution to Rachel Naomi Remen, a rare teacher, writer, healer, and friend. "Do you know anything about goose bumps?" I asked.

"Yes," she answered.

"Goose bumps happen when your soul comes close to you, breathes lightly on the the back of your neck, and wakes you up."

The Success Principles ~ Principle 27

Jack Canfield's Principle 27 is keep your eye on the prize. In order to do this Canfield suggests an end-of-day ritual of acknowleding your successes, reviewing your goals, focussing on your successful future and making plans for what you want to accomplish the next day. He recommends doing this at the end of day because apparently as we transition into alpha brain wave state we are highly suggestible, so this is a good time to reinforce what we want to be imprinted on our consciousness. He also provides a format for journalling that will enhance this process.

Journalling at the end of the day in a way that acknowledges my successes and inspires me to continue forward is one of the core practices that supports me. That's not to say that I always do it (*cough* *cough*) but it is something I see as a valuable practice worth coming back to again and again. For a long time my daily entries have included acknowledging 5 accomplishments, saying 5 thank yous and making 5 wishes. I often will also "light a candle" in my journal for someone who I know could use a little extra support. I'll draw the candle and then write their name beside it. These practices began when I began my spell/wish/magic journal project.

That practice shifted my view of what a journal can be. Yes, journals can capture our memories and be repositories of our pasts. And I also see that journals are magical places that can be powerful tools for creating our future. Journals can help us get clear on who we are and what we want. They can be full of powerful words and images that keep us connected to ourselves and our dreams. When I flip through my current journal I am immediately connected to what my current dreams are. Through the images and words that I choose to put in there, my worldview is reflected back at me and becomes clearer. On an almost daily basis I flip through it and am directly plugged in to what is important to me, what I am yearning for and who I am.

What supports you in keeping your eye on the prize?

PS Thank you to everyone for your supportive wishes about my tooth. I've got a temporary filling in right now and will be having it replaced with a permanent one next week. With my anxiety about the dental office, this was a real challenge, but I've made it through this for and your support really helps. Thanks so much.

Unscheduled Interruption

Hi everybody. I wanted to apologize for my unscheduled absence, especially for the lack of a Success Principle post on Monday. This week was the start of term for Nia, plus I've had a bit of an emotional roller coaster going on, plus I appear to have lost a piece of a molar. Considering my intense phobia of dentists, this is proving a bit like living through Fear Factor. Hopefully tomorrow I'll have it attended to.

I have every intention of being here next week. In the meantime, have a beautiful weekend.

Jamie

PS Isn't this a funny picture of Jinx? I caught her just as she was about to meow. You know, I don't feel nearly as guilty posting silly pictures of the Jinx-meister as I would if it was my cat Bascha. Bascha is all about dignity. Jinx, not so much.

100 Successes

100 Things I'm Proud to Have Accomplished in My Life So Far

an exercise for Success Principle 26

1. I saved my allowance and then went to the store all by myself and bought treats and Barbie clothes when I was in grade 2.
2. I learned how to ride a bike, thanks to the boy next door.
3. I choreographed and performed dances for my class when I was in grade 4.
4. I sang in the choir throughout public school.
5. I was a bunny in our school's performance of Snow White.
6. I started my own neighbourhood library when I was in public school.
7. I was the lead in the school play when I was in grade 6.
8. I used to challenge myself to get lost on my bicycle in the neighbourhood and then find my way home.
9. I started my own business washing doll clothes when I was in public school.
10. I was a cheerleader in junior high.
11. I organized all sorts of outings and events for friends when I was in junior high.
12. I asked a boy to dance in junior high. (He said yes, but was really uncomfortable)
13. I made the adjustment of moving from Montreal to Toronto in grade 7.
14. I made the first move with a boy I liked in junior high. (He said yes, and we dated for quite a while. I still think of him really fondly. He was great.)
15. I skipped a year of math in junior high.
16. I was great with kids when I was a teenager.
17. I became assistant to my dance teacher while I was in high school.
18. I learned to tap dance.
19. I taught jazz and tap.
20. I was a soloist in our studio's dance recitals.
21. I got my first real job at Canada's Wonderland working on a ride.
22. I worked for 2 years as an usher at the dolphin show at Canada's Wonderland.
23. I got a job dancing as Papa Smurf at Canada's Wonderland.
24. I looked out for my siblings when my family was having a really hard time.
25. I went to my brother's parent-teacher interview.
26. I was an Ontario Scholar.
27. I was the president of my school's Student Organization for the Promotion of School Spirit (SOPSS)
28. I was the president of our school's sorority.
29. I learned to drive.
30. I was very serious about weight training, going to the gym 4 days a week and pumping iron.
31. I was one of the drivers on a family trip to Montreal.
32. I did a chin up.
33. I was accepted into and completed the University College Drama Program at the University of Toronto.
34. I have been a good nurse to loved ones that required physical care.
35. I graduated with distinction, earning my BA, a combined specialist in English and Drama with a minor in Anthropology.
36. I gained my MA in Drama.
37. I auditioned for shows.
38. I have told stories to a rapt audience.
39. I called a director to ask for feedback on my audition when I did not get the part.
40. Along with a partner, I was the artistic director of FOOT, The Festival of Original Theatre, that featured art, theatre, workshops, panel discussions and academic papers.
41. I was the president of the student union for my graduate department.
42. I was the editor of the departmental newsletter, taking it from a 1-sheet handout to a talked about publication.
43. I maintained my integrity in viscious conflict.
44. I brought home a second cat when I didn't know how I was possibly going to afford her but I loved her. She's still with us today.
45. I had the courage to say yes when someone asked me if I would direct their show.
46. Along with a partner, I was the artistic director of an independent theatre company.
47. Our theatre company ran in the black.
48. I have directed shows I'm very proud of including Mozart & Salieri, Understanding Media and Blue.
49. I've acted in shows I'm very proud of including Looking at the Stars and Masse Mensch (Man and the Masses)
50. I directed and choreographed a fashion show of costumes.
51. I've called a show from the booth.
52. I was a club chick.
53. I left a long-term relationship that wasn't good for me.
54. I sang on stage.
55. Along with my sister Shannon, I catered an event.
56. I volunteered for the Distress Centre.
57. I was a manager that really pulled together a great team that worked hard and liked each other.
58. I have worked supporting deaf and hard of hearing students in the classroom.
59. I gave dedicated and consistent effort to finding a career that was deeply fulfilling, drew on my talents and allowed me to pursue my creative dreams.
60. I left my doctoral studies when it became clear that was not the route for me.
61. I traveled by myself to visit my sister Suzie in BC.
62. I completed a core curriculum of coaching training.
63. I learned how to closed caption.
64. I organized a group of people to participate in the AIDS walk.
65. My husband and I designed a beautiful winter wedding that was successful in large part due to the lovely family and friends we have in our lives.
66. I began my own coaching practice.
67. I presented a coaching workshop.
68. I walked to raise money for the Assaulted Women's Help Line.
69. I provided coaching for a management team.
70. I have turned my health around from exhausted depletion.
71. I attained my coaching certification.
72. I was able to pay for my coaching certification by funds earned through coaching.
73. I have truly supported people in changing their lives and finding their joy.
74. I took a course in drawing and painting. I kept with it even when it was frustrating.
75. I have invested in myself.
76. Along with my husband, I bought a house.
77. I attained my Nia white belt.
78. I have cried out my dance tears.
79. I wrote and illustrated a story called My Life with Stella.
80. I began Starshyne Productions.
81. I went whale-watching even though I have an extreme phobia of deep water.
82. I hosted the first ever Try Day on Create a Connection.
83. I attained my Nia blue belt.
84. I have asked for help.
85. I began teaching Nia.
86. I have spent time doing art activities.
87. I have followed my heart even when it's scary.
88. I have turned my garden around from a patch of mud to a pretty space.
89. I have spoken my truth in a challenging relationship.
90. I have been accepted into a foundational year program in Expressive Arts Therapy
91. I developed a new identity for my business.
92. I have voted in all elections that I have been eligible to.
93. I researched and hired a logo design company.
94. I have embraced my performative nature.
95. I have met lots of new and wonderful people and expanded my community greatly.
96. I have learned CPR.
97. I have loved and continue to love deeply and fiercely.
98. I have a strong relationship with my spirit.
99. I successfully manage our finances.
100. I will be offering a workshop at justBe... Connected.

The Success Principles ~ Principle 26

Following up on Principle 25

Before I get into this week's principle, I want to say something about last week's post on Principle 25, drop out of the "ain't it awful club" and surround yourself with successful people. Clearly this one is a challenging principle for a lot of reasons, not the least of which is that we are sensitive, loving people who don't want to hurt others. For me, the principle is not about being insensitive to the struggles of others. Sometimes people are having a hard time and need our love and support. And sometimes people are invested in things being hard, awful and unchangeable. And they want you to agree and stay put, complaining with them so that they don't have to change. Principle 25 is about disengaging from negativity that drags you down when where you want to move is up, up, up. It's about expecting better for yourself and others, for believing in hope and change. When someone is negative, especially to the point of being hurtful to you, and you maintain the relationship, what are the messages you're sending to them and to yourself?

You deserve to be supported, loved, encouraged and believed in. There are people out there who will be that kind of friend (as so many of us have discovered through blogging), partner, loved one And yes, it can be hard to say goodbye to negative people, especially when they're family, but you are allowed to protect yourself. You are allowed to ask to be treated respectfully, to say, "It really hurts my feelings when..." instead of just suffering in silence, or "I would appreciate it if..."

May you all be surrounded by loving, wonderful, gracious people who support you in pursuing your dreams and being yourself. May all the naysayers disappear quietly, gently and easily from your environment, leaving you free to breathe and grow. May they find their way to a joyful life with negativity dissipating from their hearts.

Principle 26

Success Principle #26 is acknowledge your postive past. Wow, I can so get behind this principle. Jack Canfield points out that we generally have more experience hearing about our failures than our successes and that leads to a more intense emotional experience around the negative, which in turn means we tend to underestimate our successes. And the impact of not acknowledging our successes is that we lose out in our self-esteem. Acknowledging your success brings confidence. And you're going to need confidence as you move forward towards your dreams.

So now's the time to start acknowledging the things you've done. His first recommendation is to divide your life into 3 even time periods and to come up with 3 successes for each period. After that, if you want to really get to it, create a list of 100 of your life successes. I really hope that you'll take on this exercise and share with us all what you've achieved. I'll work on mine and share it in the next couple of days.

Once you've done that, it's a great idea to keep what Canfield calls a Victory Log, writing down your successes as you go. I do this in my journal. Every day I acknowledge what I've accomplished or am proud of that day. You can turn this into a great creative project, making a scrapbook, a photo collage, an ever-developing poem of all the things you have accomplished.

There's lots of different ways to celebrate your achievements, the important part is that you take the time to see, feel and acknowledge that you are creating successes every day! When you know that in your heart, it will be easier to make more.

Note: Today's picture is of my wonderful sister Suzie as a girl. It just took me back to that time when we felt it was okay to see ourselves as superheroe's ready to take on the world, willing to throw our arms up in the air and celebrate our strength and success, to say YAY! Look at me! Thank you, Suzie, for the beautiful reminder.