Bull Sh*t Upon The Jews!

Book of Obama Chapter 14


Upon the 4th day of the month of March, in the year of 2012 (10 Adar 5772) The Anointed One returned to Assembly of AIPAC and spoke.

I bring you greetings, My brothers and sisters.
I bring you My words of peace (and appeasement).

Now is not the time for war.  It is not the time of attack.
We can attack Iran in October.  (When I will need the boost in my poll numbers to win re-election.)
All the Israelis need to do is trust in Me.
For I will protect them.
I am their savior, their rock, their greatest fan.

For without Me there is no Israel.
(Even with Me there is no Israel.)
I will do the right thing.  I am the Chosen One.

And the Assembly of AIPAC sat there, clapped politely, but did not cheer for Him.  They looked to each other and would not believe the words of The Anointed One.  He had lied to them many times before.

I will stop your enemy Iran from making nukes.
I will give more arms to Israel.
I will no longer force the issue on Jerusalem.

My diplomacy against the evil Iran will work.
I speak softly but I carry a big stick.

Will you not support Me?
My coffers are bleeding dry.
(Give Me your money.)

The Assembly of AIPAC kept their wallets shut.  No money for thee they said.  And as for the big stick The Anointed One spoke of, they know it is nothing more than a small putter.


By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle

The Leopard Will Change His Spots

Book of Obama Chapter 13

And the Holy One, anointed by Holy Chief of Justice, John of Roberts, returned to the Dome of the Capital, dressed in the Holy suit and tie and addressed the assembled chapter of the Congress, the Holy Justices of the land, the members of the anointed Cabinet and guests from near and far, the Anointed One, Wearer of the Mantle of Power, spoke:

I ended the war in Iraq, I killed the evil bin Laden, and personally I welcomed all the soldiers home from Iraq. I am the Holy One, the President and I can do everything.  I have brought peace to the world, the world respects us better now than at any time, I will end the war in Afghanistan too.  For I am the Messiah of the World.

I want all of you, My slaves oops My people to remember what I did for you after World War 2.  My Grandfather who fought with Patton (and liberated Auschwitz) and My Grandmother who built the entire US Navy by herself, got to go to college for nothing.  They built the US to its greatness all by themselves.

But now I see that you have done everything to destroy Me.  You have overspent, you have destroyed My credit (and yours), you have bought homes that you could not afford.  But I am here.  I will pay your mortgages.  I will refinance your mortgages.  I will make it all better.  I am your Savior.

I will prevent jobs from going overseas.  I will investigate businesses who outsource their jobs to China.  (That is until Warren Buffet tells Me to stop.)  There will be no more bailouts for banks, for Wall Street, for anyone, except for Unions.  I saved the auto industry.  No one helped Me.  And they are stronger now than before.  (Sorry about the Volt thing.)  I will make other nations have an equal playing field with Me.  I am the equalizer.

I will tax the rich higher.  And I will tax everyone else higher too.  I will change the tax code.  I am Omnipotent.  I can and will do all.

I salute America's teachers.  I stand by your unions.  I will throw more money to you so you can indoctrinate the children.  I want a law saying that a child must stay in school until either he or she graduates or turns 18.  That way I can have them indoctrinated to be our slaves.  I will find a way to destroy the home schools, the private schools (But not the ones My daughters attend.), and the religious schools.  Everyone will learn the same, think the same, live the same.  Everyone will get free college under Me.  (Except to the "good" schools.)

I will give citizenship to every immigrant to the United States.  It matters not to Me if they are legally here or not.  And I demand that this be done before the November elections (I need the votes.).

I will create jobs in energy.  I will have the oil fields opened up.  (Until the environmentalists either go to court or demand that I stop.)  I demand that we develop alternate energy (The people who created Solyndra have given Me more money.  I need to give them more government funds.)  Under Me the United States has imported less oil than in the last 16 years.  (Not really but if you tell a lie long and loud enough the sheeple will believe it.)

I will clear away all the Red Tape, all the government regulations that hold business down.  But only until I am re-elected.  Then not only will it all return but I will impose stricter restrictions upon the land.

Under My leadership the Muslim world has undergone transformations.  I was the cause of the Arab Spring, the Arab renewal, the Muslim revival.  This is all good in My eye.  I will remove Assad from Syria, nukes from Iran and Jews from Palestine.  I will defeat the evil Netanyahu and replace him with the moderate Abbas.  There will be peace through out the land, for under Me all will drink the Kool-Aid and sing the Kumbaya.  Under Me all men, all women will live in peace.  There will be peace, the peace of Islam and the joy of the jizya.  This I will demand of the world.

Upon listening to this the people turned to each other and wondered why the Anointed One didn't do any of these things when He first came into office.  They saw what He had done and shook their heads.  In a loud voice they shouted:

NOT THIS TIME!

Obama To The American People:

By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle

F**k You!

Once again the Obama regime fails to provide sound energy and job programs.  Instead of looking to our neighbor to the north, Canada and their oil sands for some energy independence (From Muslim oil), he will be cancelling the Keystone Pipeline.  A project that will bring 100,000 jobs (20,000 Shovel-ready.).

The State Department will announce the decision on Keystone XL pipeline is "no," as early as Wednesday, an industry source told Fox News, suggesting that the department will say 60 days is inadequate time to do the required environmental impact assessment on the path of the coveted pipeline.

For three years, the State Department has been reviewing the initial proposal to run a pipeline from Canada down to Texas through a sensitive Nebraska aquifer -- authority it has because of the transnational path the route takes. The pipeline had been through several other federal, state and local approvals, but the department backed away from signing off on the plan last year after environmentalists complained.

Industry workers and Republicans contend the project would create thousands of jobs, and Canada's prime minister has warned if the U.S. can't get on board, the North American nation will look to team with China.

"Unfortunately Prime Minister Harper of Canada just this week said because of the volatile indecisiveness on the part of this president, that they feel they are being held hostage and they will take their energy elsewhere specifically to Asia and China," Jack Gerard, president and CEO of the American Petroleum Institute, told Fox News Radio.

In December, Congress attached to the payroll tax cut a deadline of 60 days for the State Department to determine approval for an alternative route. A spokesman for House Speaker John Boehner pointed out that the legislation doesn't permit the State Department to reject the plan, only President Obama. The language says if he rejects the pipeline, Obama must then issue a report to Congress "that provides a justification for determination, including consideration of economic, employment, energy security, foreign policy, trade and environmental factors."

On Tuesday, Obama's own jobs council suggested that it agrees with the pipeline concept. While not specifically mentioning Keystone in a report out Tuesday about improving competitiveness, the council said that when it comes to energy projects in general, the government needs to "expeditiously, though cautiously, move forward on projects that can support hundreds of thousands of jobs."

"We think this all-in energy strategy can create significant economic growths and significant job creation," said Lewis Hay, NextEra Energy CEO and a member of the president's job council.

Obama has noted his environmental concerns when it comes to energy exploration but insisted Tuesday that a balance could be found.

"I think the recommendations are sound. We see enormous potential in production of traditional fossil fuels," he said without mentioning Keystone.

As oil prices rose Wednesday on fresh signs the U.S. economy was improving, which could lead to stronger demand for gasoline and other energy products, the Natural Resources Defense Council, an environmental group, argued that the pipeline doesn't make the U.S. anymore energy secure just because it would get oil from a close neighbor and friend.

Instead of carrying common crude oil, the Keystone XL pipeline would carry thick, toxic bitumen for refining in the Gulf states, effectively transporting pollution from Canada to the United States," reads the NRDC report..

"It is not in the national interest to lock the United States into supporting an expensive and dirty form of oil for many years to come. Also, additional capacity for tar sands oil perpetuates America's addiction to oil, and undermines the clean energy alternatives that would bring genuine energy security," the NRDC report continues.

But Gerard said the president's refusal to approve the pipeline is a "clear abdication of leadership." House Speaker John Boehner also accused the president of trying to put off a politically difficult decision until after the election.

"This is not good for our country," Boehner said. "The president wants to put this off until it's convenient for him to make a decision. ... The president's got an opportunity to create 100,000 new jobs almost immediately. The president should say yes."

Source

Barack Hussein Obama has given into the extreme Environmental Moonbats.  These are the kooks that want the world to go back to the time we lived without electricity, modern medicine, cars, etc...  And Sheik Obama agrees with them.  But instead of Sheik Obama assuming the blame on this disastrous decision, he will now be able to blame the State Department (Hillary Clinton) for the decision.  Just like he tries to do every time.

The Imperial Obamas

For years we have experienced the antics of the Obama Family and their over-the-top spending sprees.  From multimillion dollar vacations (The last one to Hawaii cost the taxpayer over $4 million.), to the menus of Kobe beef and lobster, to the clothing bill for Michelle Obama (Her sundress cost $2000.), but that is nothing compared to what has emerged in a recent book about Michelle Obama.  Their over-the-top Halloween Party.

Right as the economy was going down the rabbit hole, the Obamas decided to host an Alice in Wonderland themed Halloween party, complete with Johnny Depp as the Mad Hatter and Tim Burton-arranged decorations.

They even talked to Star Wars director George Lucas and convinced him to lend them the original Chewbacca costume for the entertainment of their guests.

The extravagant fantasy world that they created, however, was kept very much under wraps because at the time of Halloween 2009, the economy was in the slumps and the national unemployment rate was still at a dismal 10 per cent.

The details about the lavish affair come from the pages of a new book about the relationship of the first couple during Mr Obama's presidency.

'White House officials were so nervous about how a splashy, Hollywood-esque party would look to jobless Americans — or their representatives in Congress, who would soon vote on health care — that the event was not discussed publicly and Burton’s and Depp’s contributions went unacknowledged,' recounts Jodi Kantor in her book, 'The Obamas'.

As is tradition, the Obamas handed out treats to Washington, D.C. school children earlier in the day, and while that event was covered heavily by the press, their later festivities were very actively kept secret.

Instead of chowing down on the presidential M&Ms, sugar cookies, and dried fruit that Mrs Obama traditionally hands out in her trick-or-treat bags, the guests at the invitation-only party had bone-shaped meringue cookies and fruit punch served in blood vials.

In keeping with her dedication to military families, the invitees were the children of military service men and women along with the children of White House employees.

Mrs Obama has invited the children of military families to many of the events she has hosted while first lady, including more recent Halloween trick-or-treating sessions and the unveiling of the White House Christmas decorations- which even had a Gold Star Families tree dedicated to the group.

The Halloween party took place five months before Mr Burton's Alice in Wonderland film was released, so the kids served as informal taste-testers and gave an indication of how his spooky take on the Disney classic would be received.

As the children walked into the State Dining Room, they were greeted by a fully-costumed Johnny Depp standing on a table decorated with vintage-inspired table cloths and surrounded by giant stuffed animals.

First daughters Malia and Sasha, who were respectively 11 and 8 at the time, were able to invite their close friends to share in the activities, which also included a magic show in the East Room.

It is beyond comprehension that the Main Lame Stream Media was ignorant of a party this size in the White House.  The fact that this was NOT reported by the media only demonstrates the close relationship the media has with the Obamas.  A relationship that has put the media into the Obama's re-election campaign working as their propaganda mill.  Is it no wonder that this was not reported on.  Could you imagine the Bush family (Either George H W or George W) having a party of this magnitude without the media crying about it.  In fact they would have complained about the party (which looked like a promo for Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland) for years.  And they scream that they are impartial.  Right!

By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle

The Obama Prayer

From the Book of Obama

Our Gubmint Mack-Daddy, Hallowed be thy name, please forgive my trespass against Thee.

O, Holiest of Holies named 0-Bama, forgive this poor, benighted sinner, I know not what I say about Your Holiness. Forgive me, Pardon me, grant me atonement for my lack of faith in Your Works on the public dime, Your Holy Ascensions to multiple golf-courses, and Your many Junkets to raise money from Your disciples, all at $35,000 a plate.

Let not Your ATF, FBI, and IRS not hound or audit me to the poor-house, for I am with You.....Yea, thugh I blaspheme against You this day, I will be with You, always.....

I, *Insert your name*, do beseech the Saints, Saint Solyndra, Saint Soros, Saint Reverend Wright, Saint Bill Ayres, and Saint Light-Squared, to protect me and intercede with the Holiest of Holies, The 0bama, on my behalf!

Amen!

By Findalis of Monkey in the Middle